Surfing at Sanity Beach

The dull ache of grief flows

An unexpected undertow in the surf at Sanity beach

Tugging at toes

Or knocking me on my ass

Don’t fight it

Swim parallel to sanity until you exit the current

I have had this slight undertow running through me lately.  I think it is running through my heart.  I cannot really say that it is grief.  There is just an ineffable ache down at the base of things.  The last few weeks have been generally positive.  The trip to Mexico was a blessing to all involved.  I did not experience the downturn I thought would come afterwards.   In the weeks since, I have re-engaged with some old friends and made some new ones.  I have had opportunity to minister to a need within the body and look forward to future opportunities.

In regards to my (ex)wife, I have a much greater understanding of how my belief in reconciliation affects both my behavior towards her, and any interaction/relationship with other women.  In a broader sense, I can see my role as a Man within the body of Christ more clearly than I ever have.

But still the ache.

Breath of Life

I hold him.
This not so small boy,
Head against my shoulder
As the tension leaves his body.
Breathing slows, regulates.
I feel it now, the breath of life,
Alternately warming and cooling
A tiny spot on my neck.

Look Once, Look Away

Twice I looked at the sky,
Each time harder than before.
The horizon calls
With siren song.
I cannot answer
For I have work to do.