So, just when I thought it was safe to think about tomorrow… My wife came home from her lawyer’s office with a completely different attitude. She will not talk about anything, sign anything, do anything until after the holidays. She will not even say if we are still on the same track as far as the house and kids go. I asked a couple different ways for some communication. I would really like to know if I need to start looking for an apartment. I had really hoped to be done with the uncertainty before Christmas, instead, I get an increased level.
I see a couple things at work here. Earlier this week my wife had a rather long conversation with her sister . The family is adamantly opposed to me being the one in the house with the kids. My wife has had to cut off most communication with them because of the arguments. These arguments and the upcoming holiday have certainly added to the stress in her life. Her lawyer would certainly be able to hear and see this, and may simply have recommended that she stop everything. It has only been ninety days since she filed, what is a few more weeks? On the other hand, whenever the possibility of still living together in February comes up, she gets very depressed.
The other thing that is really working here is a power and control game. For what she believes is the first time in our marriage, she has the power! This is her divorce, it will proceed at her pace. She does not have to talk with me about it. If she wishes to wait a few weeks, she can.
What can I do about this? Nothing! Throughout the last eight months I have been repeatedly faced with opportunities to put into practice the things the God has been showing me. I am starting to recognize the pattern. Hear some good preaching, read some good verses, take the test. It has happened again with this situation. The last few weeks I have heard a number of good lessons about not worrying. This helped me to negotiate the division of assets without getting too worked up about any of it. Now I find myself faced by the bonus question. If God works all things for good to those who love Him, I am not to worry, and in fact I should give thanks, how do I react to this situation? I did not handle it really well last night. It does not help when my wife looks at me with less regard than she might give the dog. It has been incredibly tough to live together through this process. I was really looking forward to being done.
I must give thanks. Thanks for the chance to be married a few more weeks. Thanks for a reminder that I am not in control. He is in control, and I really have no idea what His plans are. Thanks for the reminder that I just need to be present during the next couple weeks. What I can see, is only the tip of the iceberg. I need to trust in Him.
Posted by Signifier 